Helping Young Adults Access Therapy

Guidance for parents worried about their adult son or daughter

Helping Your Daughter or Son

It can be incredibly challenging to witness your child facing difficulties.

You might observe them becoming anxious, withdrawn, avoidant, unhappy, angry, overwhelmed, or feeling increasingly trapped.

You may have attempted to talk to them, provide reassurance, offer encouragement, or suggest they seek help from someone else.

It is natural to feel worried, frustrated, helpless, or uncertain about how to step in.

Many parents reach out to us with the intention of seeking therapy for an adult child, which is entirely understandable.

When someone you cherish is struggling, the instinct to take action on their behalf is strong.

However, once a young person reaches the age of 18, it is essential for them to initiate therapy themselves.

This does not imply that parents are unable to offer support; rather, it signifies that the initial step towards therapy must prioritise the young adult’s own choice, consent, and sense of ownership.

The Importance of Client-Led Therapy

At Wolverhampton Hypnotherapy, we prioritise a client-centered approach, which requires individuals seeking therapy to initiate contact, decide on their participation, and take an active role in scheduling their own appointments.

This independence is particularly crucial for adults, including young adults aged 18 and over.

The foundation of effective therapy is built on trust, confidentiality, and a genuine willingness to engage.

When arrangements are made entirely by others, young adults may feel pressured, controlled, or represented by someone else, resulting in a perception that therapy is being imposed upon them instead of being a conscious choice.

This dynamic can hinder the effectiveness of the therapeutic process. Therefore, even the seemingly minor step of reaching out to a therapist can represent a significant moment of personal empowerment.

A Parents Role is Still Important

The involvement of parents remains crucial even though we cannot facilitate therapy through a parent for an adult child; your influence can still make a significant difference.

You might be the one who first identifies the issue, initiates the dialogue, or helps them feel less isolated and ashamed, empowering them to take that initial step.

The essence lies in supporting them while maintaining their autonomy.

Often, the most beneficial approach is to express,

“I can’t do this for you, but I am here to assist you in taking the first step if you would like.”

This type of encouragement safeguards their independence while still showing your care.

Young adults may find it difficult to ask for help

Many young adults find it difficult to ask for help, even when their distress is evident.

This struggle may stem from feelings of:

• embarrassment or shame
• uncertainty in articulating their issues
• fear of judgment
• concern about being labeled
• a belief that they should manage on their own

They might also shy away from emotionally challenging situations, feel overwhelmed by the prospect of making calls or scheduling appointments, and worry about burdening their parents.

Additionally, some may question the effectiveness of therapy or have lost confidence in their own ability to seek assistance.

It is not uncommon for young adults to experience a perplexing blend of seeming independence while feeling privately helpless.

Although they may have reached adulthood legally, they can still grapple with emotional unpreparedness, self-doubt, or a sense of stagnation.

Therefore, navigating this process requires a delicate approach wherein excessive pressure could provoke resistance, while insufficient support may lead to feelings of isolation.

The goal is to facilitate the initial step toward seeking help without diminishing their personal responsibility to take that step.

How to talk to your son or daughter about therapy

A helpful conversation is usually calm, respectful and non-accusatory.

Rather than saying:

“You need therapy.”

It may be better to say:

“I can see you’ve been finding things hard recently, and I wonder whether it might help to talk to someone outside the family.”

Rather than saying:

“I’ve booked you an appointment.”

It may be better to say:

“I found someone who works with anxiety and feeling stuck. I can send you the link, and you can decide whether you want to contact them.”

Rather than saying:

“You can’t carry on like this.”

It may be better to say:

“I’m worried about you, but I don’t want to push you. I just want you to know there is help available if you want it.”

The tone matters. The young adult needs to feel invited, not cornered.

Practical ways you can help

You may be able to help by making the process feel less daunting.

For example, you could:

• Send them a link to our young adult therapy page
• Offer to sit with them while they write a message
• Help them think about what they might want to say
• Reassure them that they do not need to explain everything at once
• Offer to help with practical arrangements, if they want that
• Encourage them to send a short first message rather than make a phone call
• Let them know that the decision remains theirs

A first message does not need to be complicated.

They could simply write:

“Hi, I’m wondering whether therapy might help me. I’m not sure what to say, but I’d like to ask how it works.”

That is enough to begin.

What We Can & Cannot Discuss with Parents

If your son or daughter is 18 or over, they are an adult client.

This means we cannot discuss their therapy, attendance, progress, difficulties or personal information with you unless they have given clear permission for us to do so.

Confidentiality is not a barrier to care – it is one of the conditions that allows therapy to work.

A young adult needs to know that therapy is a private space where they can speak freely. If they believe that information will be passed back to parents or relatives, they may hold back, withdraw or avoid therapy altogether.

You can still support them. But the therapeutic relationship must belong to them.

What if they refuse to talk about therapy?

It can be painful when someone you care about refuses help.

However, therapy is unlikely to be useful if the person feels forced into it. Sometimes the most helpful thing you can do is leave the door open without turning therapy into a battleground.

You might say:

“I understand you may not want to do anything right now. I’m not going to pressure you, but the option is there if you change your mind.”

This keeps the possibility alive without creating a struggle for control.

If there is immediate risk of harm, crisis support or emergency services may be more appropriate than routine therapy. But where the issue is ongoing anxiety, avoidance, low mood, confidence or life difficulty, the aim is usually to help the young adult move gradually towards ownership of the process.

A Healthy First Step Into Therapy

The first step into therapy is not just administrative. It can also be psychological.

When a young adult contacts a therapist themselves, even with a very short message, they are beginning to act on their own behalf.

That matters.

Therapy is not simply about receiving advice from an expert. It is about becoming more able to understand yourself, make decisions, face difficulties and participate more fully in your own life.

For that reason, we encourage parents to support the pathway into therapy, but not to take it over.

You can help by passing them a link to our page about therapy for young adults here.

Initial Consultations

Joan offers all prospective clients a low cost (£30) initial consultation to discuss your mental health concerns.

During this 50 minute consultation Joan will discuss the various options that are available to you and make a considered recommendation based on your individual personal circumstances.

At Wolverhampton Hypnotherapy we understand the importance of the therapeutic relationship and so place a great emphasis on being able to meet PRIOR to agreeing any kind of help.

Our policy is to help people make a fully balanced & considered decision about undertaking therapy with us, including both the financial, work-load and personal implications.

E-mail joan at:

Joan@WolverhamptonHypnotherapy.co.uk