Sexual problems and issues -
At some time during our lifetime nearly all of us are likely to experience some form of sexually related problem. As our sexual life is such a “personal” thing to us we often feel too embarrassed to seek help, instead suffering needlessly and letting it affect our lives, often causing relationship problems.
You are not alone
A survey of 1,500 participants in 2003 found that 40% of women and 22% of men attending general practices in London had sexual difficulties. Whether you are in a long standing relationship, or just starting out, sexual problems can happen. They can hit you at any time, and knock your confidence, even if your sex life has been unproblematic up to now. The feelings of inadequacy and shame you are likely to feel should not be disregarded, but identified and dealt with.
Both Paul and Joan are trained to deal with very sensitive issues and you can be 100% assured that your problem will be treated with the utmost confidentiality and with “unconditional positive regard”.
Sexual issues are wide and variable and what some people might consider to be a “problem” might in fact be a source of intense pleasure in another person.
Our primary consideration here is to help you overcome YOUR problem, what ever that might be.
Typical sexual problems that we are consulted for include the following:-
Difficulty Responding Sexually
Difficulty responding sexually is a problem that can affect many couples and one that can have an upsetting affect. Difficulties can be caused by a number of reasons, such as stress or an underlying medical condition, consequently affecting your confidence. This in turn can make it more difficult to respond sexually. Sexual difficulty is a sensitive issue and one often left not talked about, only leading to further strife in other areas of the relationship. But these troubles can be corrected.
Low libido and low desire can often be resolved through a short course of Analytical therapy such as Pure Hypnoanalysis as often the cause of this problem lies within the subconscious part of the mind.
Erectile Dysfunction/ Erectile Disorder
What is it?
Erectile dysfunction, also known as impotence, is a condition where men find it difficult to achieve and sustain an erection in order to have sexual intercourse. This is a common problem, particularly for older men, with around half of 40 to 70 year olds suffering from erectile dysfunction at least once in their life. This can have a great psychological affect, causing feelings of inadequacy and affecting confidence.
What causes it?
Erectile dysfunction can be caused by both physical and psychological problems. Physical causes include diabetes, high blood pressure, heart disease, hormonal problems, alcoholism and serious illnesses such as cancer. Psychological problems include stress, depression, fear, previous negative experiences, anxiety and any underlying issues troubling your relationship.
Can it be treated?
In most cases men who suffer erectile dysfunction a couple of times will see the problem improve of its own accord. However, if it is a recurring problem then it may be caused by an underlying health problem, which is why it is best to see your GP. If it is related to a serious illness then the necessary treatment should help. If it is discovered the problem is psychological then consider contacting us for a FREE consultation to discuss how we might help. The following lifestyle changes may also help:
- Quit smoking -
Smoking can hinder the blood supply to the penis, making it difficult to achieve an erect penis - Improve your diet -
Your body needs healthy food to operate properly. Sticking to the five fruit and vegetables a day, and lessening the intake of sugar and saturated fats can help - Exercise -
Improving fitness is a good way to perk up your sex life and can help to relieve stress - Reduce stress -
Anxiety due to work issues, money troubles and lack of sleep can affect your sexual performance, as may any underlying relationship trouble. You must learn to release stress, through methods such as exercise or relaxation - Reduce alcohol intake -
Try and stick to the recommended three units a day if drinking. Being drunk can inhibit an erection
All four principle therapeutic interventions we offer can have excellent results for Erectile Dysfunction.
What is it?
Vaginismus is a condition where the muscles lining the entrance to the vagina tighten and make penetration virtually impossible. It is mainly due to psychological issues, often occurring after previous relationship distress, with some women finding it a problem affecting them all their life. It is predominant amongst those in their later teenage years and early thirties. The condition can vary according to the individual and can be a real strain on a relationship.
What causes it?
This is chiefly a psychological condition, which can be caused by any previous negative experiences, such as sexual abuse or a problematic child birth. The tightening of the vagina entrance can often become an involuntary action. Women who experience pain when they first have sex may also find this condition affects them. Negative messages that circulate about female pain during sex are also causes of this condition. If there are any worries in your relationship then this may be having an adverse affect.
Can it be treated?
Hypnotherapy can help treat this condition, as we can help you to identify and overcome any underlying psychological issues causing vaginismus. Cognitive behavioural therapy can also be beneficial, and would involve us helping you to correct any negative or mistaken beliefs you may hold about sex.
What is it?
It is believed that around 12% of women never achieve an orgasm in their life, and that around 70% are unable to do so through sexual intercourse. This is because it can be difficult to stimulate the clitoris through sexual intercourse, touching often a much better way to do so. This condition can vary according to the individual, causing distress to the woman and feelings of inadequacy to their partner.
What causes it?
This problem can be due to a physical problem, such as lack of stimulation to the
clitoris, or if you are tired. Other factors include medical problems, or it may
be a side-
- Fear -
Many women fear they may lose control when they orgasm - Body image -
If you are worrying about the way your body looks then this can be a real dampener on proceedings - Prior negative experience -
If there is a case of sexual abuse or some other trauma in your past then you may find it difficult to achieve an orgasm - Underlying relationship problems -
If there are problems in your relationship this may be taking an effect - Setting the scene -
If you are not comfortable in your surroundings then it can be difficult to achieve an orgasm
Attention diverted -
Can it be treated?
For most it is the case of finding what actually gets them going, and communicating
their needs to their partner. Leaving your partner in the dark can only lead to further
problems and the likelihood they will feel inadequate. Hypnotherapy can often help
in uncovering unconscious causes -
Find out what you like -
Helping the orgasm along -
There are many people who have sexual desires that are deemed as unacceptable in society. Certain desires, such as paedophilic tendencies and necrophilia are indeed unacceptable and against the law. But there are other forms of fantasy and sexual preferences that many people desire but are seldom able to admit.
If you are not in a relationship then there is the possibility that you can find like minded people out there who share the same tendencies. But if you are in a relationship then it can be very difficult to admit such tendencies to your partner, with the chance this may be catastrophic to the future of your relationship. It is what you do with these thoughts and feelings that can determine the success of your relationship.
What are unusual sexual preferences?
There are a range of sexual activities that are deemed to be unusual, but once again, this does not mean they are wrong. In fact, we live in a society where sex in itself is a difficult subject to discuss with others, let alone any unusual sexual preferences you may have. Unusual sexual preferences include:
- Watching others have sex
- Role-
playing and fantasy - Sadomasochism
- Spanking
- Bondage
- Being dominant or dominated
- Exhibitionism
- Masochism
- Autoerotic asphyxia
- Fetishism
If you are partaking in these sexual activities then you must make sure that necessary safety precautions are taken. Autoerotic asphyxia, in particular, can be a dangerous sexual act to carry out.
Why do I have these unusual sexual preferences?
Everybody has sexual fantasies, and there are many people who are uncomfortable with these thoughts. Because of the stigma that is attached to many of these sexual activities people are afraid to express unusual preferences to their partners. But these thoughts and feelings are completely normal, with around 15% of people deeming themselves as being into sadomasochism. The number is no doubt higher than this but people are seldom to admit such tendencies in a society where sex itself is a sensitive subject. Experience in helping clients overcome all sorts of unconscious events has shown us that a a high percentage of these “preferences” are derived form repressed emotional experiences.
Is there something wrong with me?
Sexual fantasies happen to everyone, whether they are seen as normal or unusual by wider society. These thoughts and feelings can occur without us wanting them to, and this can cause great distress to certain individuals. If you are in a trusting relationship then one option is to communicate your desires with your partner, but there is always a risk in doing so. If your desires are against the law and you are finding it difficult to hold them back then you should definitely consult for help.
Should I disclose my unusual sexual preferences to my partner?
Communicating your hidden desires with your partner and then carrying them out can be a wonderful sexual experience for some. This can increase the level of intimacy and create a real foundation of trust. However, there is always the chance your unusual sexual preferences may be offensive to your partner and cause them to become uncomfortable.
If you choose to disclose such sexual preferences to your partner then there is always the chance they may look down on you, and find it difficult to continue in the relationship. Sexual preferences can be extremely personal, but you have to ask yourself whether it is worth jeopardising your relationship. To test the water it may be best to talk about a related subject with your partner to gauge their opinion.
Unusual sexual preferences are ruining my relationship
If you find that the sexual thoughts you have are inhibiting your ability to become aroused sufficiently, or that you may not be able to control your unusual sexual urges, then Analytical Hypnotherapy is definitely an option. With time Hypnotherapy can help you to overcome such urges and once again become aroused by ‘normal’ sexual activities.
Please do not hesitate to contact us to discuss how Hypnotherapy can help YOU
Loss of desire is quickly becoming a common problem among couples, with around 1
in 5 people being affected by this problem in their lifetime. This can affect both
men and women, and is seen by some as a consequence of the hyper-
For many couples starting out in a relationship it can seem that they can’t get enough. But desire does ebb, and this can cause worry and feelings of inadequacy for both partners. However, it is possible to recapture your sexual desire. By identifying the cause you will be a step closer to overcoming the problem.
Why has my sexual desire decreased?
Loss of sexual desire can cause both partners to experience negative thoughts about their attractiveness. Because of this it can be extremely difficult to recapture the sexual appetite you once had. It may be caused by problems such as erectile dysfunction.
Relationship trouble -
Stress -
Low self-
Apprehension -
Depression -
Alcohol & Drugs -
Illness or disability -
Menopause -
How can I increase my sexual desire?
Loss of sexual desire can seem like a problem there is no coming back from. With our hectic lifestyles if can be difficult to make time to address such problems, which only leaves any difficulties being expressed through other means in a relationship. Through communication, changes to your lifestyle and, if necessary, through the help of a therapist, you can overcome any difficulties affecting your sexual desire.
Therapy -
Learn to relax -
Fantasy -
Changing your environment -
Discover what you like -
Increase your heart rate -
Try something different -
Don’t rush into sex -
Clinical Hypnotherapy has an excellent record in helping people to resolve all sorts of Sexual issues. Contact us in complete confidence for a FREE initial chat.
Sexual addiction is a problem that can place great strain upon a relationship, but is a condition often not taken seriously. Being addicted to sex is not only limited to sexual intercourse, but incorporates other sexual acts such as watching pornography, masturbating and paying for sex. When we have sex this causes chemicals to be released in our bodies, creating a sense of euphoria. This can cause some people to constantly seek this chemical reaction. Sexual addiction can vary in its extremities, causing social problems for some, while for others it can devastate their relationship.
Sexual addiction is an addiction like any other, whether is due to alcohol or drugs, and can become a bodily necessity. Those who suffer from sexual addiction often feel disgrace at their actions, as well as regret, angst and guilt. This condition can be difficult for couples to deal with as there are many who see it as a mere excuse for sleeping with someone else. But sexual addiction is a real problem, and is one for which Hypnotherapy can be a great help.
What symptoms characterise sexual addiction?
Sexual addiction can make people go to extremities in order to seek sexual stimulation. There are certain behaviours that you should look out for if you feel you, or your partner, are suffering from sex addiction:
- Paying prostitutes for sex
- Having affairs
- Having sex with people you just meet on a regular basis
- Excessive use of pornography or telephone sex lines
- Excessive levels of masturbation
- Feel you or your partner’s sexual behaviour is out of control
- Unable to stop yourself
- Partaking in high-
risk sexual acts - Choosing sex over important events on a routine basis
- Partaking in fetishes, voyeurism and exhibitionism
- Knowing there may be severe retribution if you continue this way
- Requiring the buzz of sex more and more
- Having mood swings when it comes to sexual activity
How common is sexual addiction?
It is believed that around 5% of people experience sexual addiction, but this total is likely higher as most people don’t want to admit they are sufferers. This is a condition that can affect both men and women, with no typical profile of person being mainly accountable. Due to the introduction of the internet, the level of sexual addiction has gone up. However, the stigma attached to sex addiction still remains, and unless you are brave enough to admit you have a problem then this condition can continue to have a negative affect on your life.
I think I’m a sex addict
The first step is to admit you do have a problem. However, it is all well and good knowing you are a sufferer, but unless you make the effort to deal with the condition then it will not go away. A skilled Hypnotherapist can assist you in overcoming the condition by identifying the reasons why you are seeking sexual activities.
Whilst sex addiction may not seem like a problem with an underlying causation, it
is often precipitated by bottled-
Sexual Performance anxiety is really a “version” of “social anxiety” or “social phobia”
inasmuch as we can over-
These feelings that we are “not quite good enough” can be amplified during the sexual act as we generally feel at our most vulnerable and literally “exposed”.
People suffering from performance anxiety of this type tend to also find that they get into a negative spiral of anxiety where just the thought of having sex can lead them to start to feel anxious, often resulting in avoidance and feelings of inadequacy.
Am I suffering from social anxiety?
If you answer “AGREE” to more than a few of the following questions then you do have
some Social Anxiety:-
- I feel anxious and “on the spot” around authority figures
- I sometimes blush or stutter when talking to people
- I avoid being the centre of attention
- Making a fool of myself, or people laughing at me are amongst my worst fears
- Parties and social events intimidate me and I will often avoid them
- I hate the feeling of being criticized so I work really hard at being good and getting things right
- I find it hard to look people in the eye whilst talking to them
- I often feel panicky when I am around people
- I find meeting new people hard
- I always get nervous before any sort of test
Social Anxiety can be very effectively treated by following a course of Changing Limiting Beliefs or alternatively by having Analytical Therapy to uncover the root cause of your anxiety. In milder cases of Performance Anxiety one or two sessions of Clinical Hypnosis can be very beneficial.
Premature Ejaculation
What is it?
Premature ejaculation is a condition where men come too quickly during sexual intercourse. This is a problem typically found in younger men, but recent studies have shown around 30% of men suffer this problem at least once. It is impossible to determine the time by which ejaculation is deemed too quickly, with the average being around 6 minutes from penetration to ejaculation. However, it is up to the couple to decide whether ejaculation is occurring too quickly. Climaxing too early is also a problem that can affect females.
What causes it?
It is difficult to identify what the predominant cause of premature ejaculation is. However, this is a problem that lessens the older you get, possibly pointing to a lack of sexual experience being one reason. This is unsurprising due to the anxiousness and nerves that are likely to play a part in early sexual experiences, increasing the chances of losing control. This can affect men’s confidence and cause them feelings of being “inadequate”. Some people believe alcohol can help but this only worsens the condition.
Can it be treated?
Most men find the more they have sex the more control they acquire over point of climax, but distraction techniques can be beneficial if the problem continues. Masturbating a couple of hours before sex, taking a break during sex, using a thick condom and having sex with the woman on top are good ways to treat the problem. For women who achieve orgasm too early, try taking part in other sexual acts with your partner, such as kissing, touching and oral. Reaching orgasm does not mean sex needs to end.
A local anaesthetic spray can improve the condition and is available from your local pharmacist. Couples therapy is another way to treat the problem, in which you can unearth any underlying issues affecting your relationship.
Before consulting for Hypnosis or Hypnotherapy you might like to try these established techniques:
Squeeze technique -
Stop-
If you have limited success with the above methods then it might be that you have some underlying stress, anxiety or other psychological issue that would respond very favourably to either Clinical Hypnosis, Analytical Hypnotherapy or in some cases a course of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy.
Contact either Paul or Joan to arrange a FREE, no obligation consultation to discuss how we might be able to help you.
Professional Hypnotherapists Paul and Joan Lee serve the following areas:
Hypnotherapy in the West Midlands Hypnotherapy in Wolverhampton Hypnotherapy in Telford Hypnotherapy in Cannock Hypnotherapy in Walsall Hypnotherapy in Dudley Hypnotherapy in West Bromwich Hypnotherapy in Stourbridge Hypnotherapy in Kidderminster Hypnotherapy in Birmingham Hypnotherapy in Solihull Hypnotherapy in Tamworth Hypnotherapy in Lichfeld Hypnotherapy in Rugeley Hypnotherapy in Stafford Hypnotherapy in Bridgnorth Hypnotherapy in Redditch
Hypnotherapy for Sexual Problems
Hypnotherapy for Erectile Dysfunction
Hypnotherapy for Fear of being sick
Hypnotherapy for the Fear of Needles
Hypnosis for Sports Performance
Hypnosis for the Fear of Dentists
Hypnosis for Pornography Addiction
Hypnotherapy for Gambling Addiction
Hypnotherapy for Alcohol Abuse
Hypnosis for Repressed Memories
Hypnosis for Irritable Bowel Syndrome
Hypnotherapy for Low self esteem
Hypnotherapy for Children’s problems
Hypnotherapy for the Fear of Birds
Hypnotherapy for the Fear of Dogs
Hypnotherapy for Fear of Open Spaces
Hypnotherapy for Performance Anxiety
Hypnotherapy for Exercise Addiction
DISCLAIMER: Information on this web site is provided for general educational purposes only and is not intended to constitute (i) medical advice or counselling, (ii) the practice of medicine including psychiatry, psychology, psychotherapy or the provision of health care diagnosis or treatment, (iii) the creation of a physician patient or clinical relationship. If you have or suspect that you have a medical problem, contact your doctor or health care provider promptly.
Professional Hypnotherapists Paul and Joan Lee can help with these issues:
Wolverhampton Hypnotherapists Site pages:
Hypnotherapy for Anger Management
Hypnotherapy for Chronic Fatigue
Hypnotherapy for Toilet anxiety
Hypnotherapy for Separation anxiety
Gastric Band slimming Hypnosis
Thrive programme for Limiting Thinking
Thrive Programme for Limiting Beliefs
